I used to call myself a control freak. But, honestly, I am rarely, if ever, actually in control. I'm more of an I'm-desperately-trying-to-be-in-control-aholic. I really just have the illusion that I'm in control.
There are two examples in my life that parrallel my need for control. One is snow skiing and one is riding roller coasters.
Now, it's been a long time since I've been skiing, but let me share my experience with you. I remember in high school being on a church ski trip. I went down the mountain in a snow plow position. My legs were tensed. I'm sure my teeth were clinched. I felt the need to be able to stop at any given moment. On a dime. See? I needed to be in control. How fun and exciting it was to travel down the beautiful mountain while tied in knots. Not.
I remember coming to a section of moguls with our church group. For you non-skiiers, moguls are a series of short bumps. I very carefully snow-plowed slowly through some of them, I'm sure screaming with terror the entire time.
Then one of our adult sponsors, Charles Landreth, came over to me and said, "Carol, just let go. Just let loose and glide over them." Uh, really?
Well, being young and impressionable, I gave it a try. When I got to the next set of moguls, I straightened up my skis and away I went. It was the most scary, exhilarating thing I had ever done! I wasn't sure that my heart could take it. And I didn't die. It was fun!
You know the thing about going at a pace where you can stop at any moment means that while you may think you are safe, what you are actually doing is robbing yourself of the experience of really flying!
Now, I didn't exactly get this life lesson on that trip, but it was a start. I went skiing again years later on another church trip, this time as an adult chaperone. Our youth minister, Mike Miller, gave a devo talk one night where he said, "It's ok to fall. That's how we learn. In skiing, in life."
So, the next day, one of the teenagers (Rachel McBride) and I traveled down the mountain chanting, "It's ok to fall, it's ok to fall!" I mean, what's the worst that could happen? I could crash into a tree and die. Or be paralyzed. Or fall off of a cliff. But I digress...
My attitude had changed from fear and the need to be in control to that of "Watch out mountain, here I come and if I fall, well, that's ok!" I let loose. And fall I did. But, the joy of skiing was restored!
Of course, in every other aspect of my life I still grasped tightly to the need to be in control. This would last for years. And years. I would make the right choices to make my life the way I wanted it to be. I would do or say the right thing to make the people I love do or say the right thing (can you say manipulation?). Of course, that never works. Nor should it.
So, during my years of denial-overcoming and discovery, I remembered how earlier in life I came to actually enjoy roller coasters. I compared it to how I was living and decided that I needed to apply my attitude toward roller coasters to the rest of my life. I'll explain.
I used to ride roller coasters with my arms wound as tightly as possible around the bars. (Are you seeing my pattern?) My knuckles would turn white clenching to the metal bar as my feet and legs pressed up to the cart for stability.
Now, I started to think about it. Ok, really, there are two things that could go wrong. One- my seat belt and/or safety bar could break and I could get flung out of the roller coaster on my own. Two- the entire car of passengers could jump the track and go sailing. Now, honestly, if my seat belt broke, do I really think that grabbing on to the bar will keep me in the car? And, of course, if the whole car falls off the track, well, there's nothing that I can do that would save us anyway.
So, all that energy I spent holding on was actually just giving me the illusion of control. I didn't really have any control. In a desperate situation, it really wouldn't help me. Not one bit.
I had a choice to make. Continue to cling to the illusion of control and be miserable, or let go and enjoy the ride!
I chose the latter. I can still remember riding the Shockwave at Six Flags and coming up out of my seat! And you know what? Amazingly enough, I didn't fly out! And the car stayed on the track!! And I screamed. With delight!
So, I decided to put that into practice in my life. Yeah, ok it took a while. And I still have my moments.
I figured out that although I was doing fairly well at obeying God, I was not doing so well at trusting Him with my life. I was so busy trying to do what I thought that I should to that I was not leaving Him room to work. It is a terrifying idea to let someone else be in control. Terrifying.
But, I had come to the point that me being in control was not working. When I thought about it, I mean, who else would I want to be in control of my life but the Creator of the universe? Of course, what the Creator of the universe has planned for me may not be what I want. Was I willing to accept that?
Eventually the answer became yes. I was. Whatever may come, I want what God chooses for me- not what I choose for me. It's still scary sometimes, but also exciting, and peaceful. I'm not in control. I've given that over to Him.
I've heard letting God control your life described as going down a giant mountain on a bicycle. Bumps and holes, curves and swerves- never knowing what will come next. But, I'm in the basket and God has the wheel. He's in control. I can be fearful and tighten my clutches or I can let go, relax and enjoy the ride.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
What He Didn't Say
We are studying the parable of the prodigal son on Sunday mornings. Yes, I've studied it a million times, but this one is especially eye-opening.
I have had some ah-ha moments because of this class. Most of them have been because of the father in the parable. I'm not sure that I ever paid that much attention to the father's actions. How he behaves, what he says. And, I think I've really learned the most by taking note of the things that he DIDN'T say.
For instance, to the younger son leaving, he never says:
No, please don't. You'll break my heart!
What can I do to get you to stay? I'll do anything!
This will ruin our family's reputation!
How can you be so stupid?
I knew you'd leave! You always disappoint me.
You'll be sorry. One day, you'll come crawling back- you'll see.
You'll never make it. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Gulp! Have I ever said anything like this to someone who was making a poor choice? Wow.
Nope. No begging, bargaining, or demeaning. No, the father respected his son enough to let him make his own choices. Also, by not saying some of the above mentioned words, he left the door open for the son to return.
And then, when the younger son does return, you also DO NOT hear the father say:
I knew you'd be back. I knew you'd never make it on your own.
What were you thinking?
I hope you've learned your lesson.
Just make sure you don't mess up again.
Or perhaps the worst..... I told you so!
No, he opens his arms and accepts him. He puts a ring on his finger and throws a big party for him!. Now, I do not think that this means that he will accept unacceptable behavior. No, I think that the son knows what is expected of him. He wouldn't be back if he wasn't willing to live up to that. I think that's probably part of why he had to leave the father in the first place.
Is this the way I react when someone repents and comes back to the Lord? When someone tells me they are sorry for wronging me? When someone tries to change their life?
And then there's the older son. After the younger son comes back, he starts to gripe and complain. What does the father say to him? Again, I can tell you what he DOESN'T say.
What's the matter with you? This is your brother!
Why would you embarrass me like this?
You are just spoiled, that's all!
I don't care what you want- get into that party!
You only THINK you're the good son!
No, he calmly assures the older son of his love for him and his place in the family. He doesn't pit one brother against another. He doesn't even scold. Everything he says is helpful. Everything he says creates unity.
One of my favorite sayings is, "It is better to be kind than right." It seems like the father knew this, and practiced it.
Now it's time for me to go and do likewise.
I have had some ah-ha moments because of this class. Most of them have been because of the father in the parable. I'm not sure that I ever paid that much attention to the father's actions. How he behaves, what he says. And, I think I've really learned the most by taking note of the things that he DIDN'T say.
For instance, to the younger son leaving, he never says:
No, please don't. You'll break my heart!
What can I do to get you to stay? I'll do anything!
This will ruin our family's reputation!
How can you be so stupid?
I knew you'd leave! You always disappoint me.
You'll be sorry. One day, you'll come crawling back- you'll see.
You'll never make it. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Gulp! Have I ever said anything like this to someone who was making a poor choice? Wow.
Nope. No begging, bargaining, or demeaning. No, the father respected his son enough to let him make his own choices. Also, by not saying some of the above mentioned words, he left the door open for the son to return.
And then, when the younger son does return, you also DO NOT hear the father say:
I knew you'd be back. I knew you'd never make it on your own.
What were you thinking?
I hope you've learned your lesson.
Just make sure you don't mess up again.
Or perhaps the worst..... I told you so!
No, he opens his arms and accepts him. He puts a ring on his finger and throws a big party for him!. Now, I do not think that this means that he will accept unacceptable behavior. No, I think that the son knows what is expected of him. He wouldn't be back if he wasn't willing to live up to that. I think that's probably part of why he had to leave the father in the first place.
Is this the way I react when someone repents and comes back to the Lord? When someone tells me they are sorry for wronging me? When someone tries to change their life?
And then there's the older son. After the younger son comes back, he starts to gripe and complain. What does the father say to him? Again, I can tell you what he DOESN'T say.
What's the matter with you? This is your brother!
Why would you embarrass me like this?
You are just spoiled, that's all!
I don't care what you want- get into that party!
You only THINK you're the good son!
No, he calmly assures the older son of his love for him and his place in the family. He doesn't pit one brother against another. He doesn't even scold. Everything he says is helpful. Everything he says creates unity.
One of my favorite sayings is, "It is better to be kind than right." It seems like the father knew this, and practiced it.
Now it's time for me to go and do likewise.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
LTC
I am convinced that the lessons learned with LTC have less to do with the events and more to do with the process. Let me explain.
For those of you who are not familiar with this program, LTC stands for Leadership Training for Christ. It is designed for children in 3rd-12th grades to help them develop their talents for the Lord. They work on individual and team events such as song leading, chorus, drama, speech, scripture reading, signing for the deaf, art, etc. Generally, church-wide practices begin in January and then over Easter weekend, we gather with other congregations for a convention and the students showcase these talents and are awarded a gold, silver, bronze or honorable mention medal based on their adherance to a set of standards. It's not really a competition, but the awards are to motivate the students to do their best. It's difficult to explain the convention to someone who's never been. Because there are so many people going so many directions, the best description I've heard is that it is "organized chaos."
Ok, all that being said, let me continue with my thought. During my eight years of coaching LTC, I have come to realize that much more is learned than just from the events themselves. It's the process. It's the 4 hour practices every Sunday for three months. It's the 36+ hours spent together over Easter weekend. It's the deadlines and demands. It's the feeling like you want to pull your hair out and scream at times, but you don't. Usually.
Patience
For instance, when you get 3000 plus people that need to go up and down six elevators twelve times in a nine hour time period, you learn patience. Hopefully. When 30 people are all waiting and the elevator has room for three, you learn patience. When the elevator doors open up and it is already jam-packed, you learn patience.
Flexibility
When you're waiting for same said elevator and your event starts in ten minutes, then you learn to be flexible. Time for plan B. Take the stairs. (Now, getting into the flow of traffice in the stairwell is an art in itself, but that's another lesson.)
When the signing room is running way late and they move your entire group to another room, you learn to be flexible.
When you discover that your Bible Drama's two small Bibles for your skit are missing, you learn to be flexible. I mean, a piece of blue paper folded in half with the word "BIBLE" written in sharpie looks like a Bible, right? Sure it does!
Forbearance
Forbearance. I wasn't sure that was an actual word, but I looked it up. Yeah, it is. Basically it means putting up with each other. Tolerance. Giving each other a break. Not yelling at the person who bumped into you. Not correcting the monitor who shushed you when you weren't even the one talking.
Not verbally attacking the person who emails you at 11:00pm the night of the convention to ask you to re-send electronic files you submitted weeks ago.
Not killing the kid who breaks the rules. On purpose. Did we say no shorts? Did we say no swimming? Did we say don't go anywhere alone? Yes, yes we did. Yeah, I'd say we learn alot of forbearance at LTC.
No one is Perfect/ I can't do everything
When I take 30 seconds to take care of one child and then make a mad dash to my next child's event, only to get there seconds after they shut the doors, and miss the entire event, I realize that I cannot be a perfect parent. I cannot do everything.
Trying to make it to everyone's events is practically an impossibility. Sorry, Yoda, this is one case where I just have to try- not "do or do not." I try and do some.
Hmmmmm..... No one is perfect? Perhaps remembering that will help me in the forbearance department as well!
First things first
So, there's a yellow sheet of paper that you must submit to the room proctor before you perform. I was really grateful for the monitor who said, "It's just a piece of paper. We'll figure something out," when I wasn't sure that I had ours.
There is a certain time that you must be there in order to not give up your slot. Yes, I get it. There must be order.
However, what really matters? Loving God and loving people. We are there to do that. It's more important that I'm kind to my team than to remember my yellow piece of paper. It's more important that I know God than to memorize every word in the book of Matthew.
It's more important that I am patient and respectful than for me to be on time to my event. It's more important that I'm a good example than for me to make it to every event my child is in. These are lessons not easily learned. At least not for me.
Who's doing the learning?
Well, I was talking about this the other day and someone said, "Sounds like it's the parents that are learning these things."
Yes, that's it exactly. The leadership training that these kids learn has less to do with what I teach them about acting or singing for the Lord. It has everything to do with what they learn when they watch my behavior.
I may give my all to coach them the best way to sing their songs, but if I'm unkind and rude- THAT'S what I'm teaching them.
I may instruct them how to read the word of God in a clear and confident way, but if I'm quick to get angry at the kid whose mom drops him off late, THAT's what I'm teaching them.
How do I treat a child that frequently misses practice? Do I give them a lecture or do I smile and say, "I'm glad you're here!"?
How do I react when I've been waiting for an elevator for what seems like an hour (have I mentioned the elevators?) and then someone walks in front of me and gets the last spot?
How do I respond when I feel the judges results are unfair?
(Don't get me wrong. LTC is a wonderful experience, and for the most part, everyone who has a part in the planning and execution of it is a kind, dedicated Christian. That being said, remember, I've learned that no one is perfect. Judges, coordinators, parents, participants, me included.)
What is my demeanor when 50 people are all trying to eat lunch in one small room with 25 chairs? And it's hot. And I can't breathe.
How do I treat people when I'm going on little sleep, frantically trying to figure out where to be next, making sure we have all our props, supervising who knows how many kids?
That's when I take a deep breath and turn it all over to God. Some of this stuff just doesn't matter. Some of it does.
The leadership training that goes on is our children watching us respond in these situations. Do I respond with frustration and anger? Do I yell and threaten?
Or do I respond with love and a soft answer? Do I remain calm? Do I apologize when I am in the wrong?
Do I remember the big picture? Leadership Training for Christ. Yes, they give us a theme. We come up with all sorts of skits, songs, etc. that embody the theme, but the real challenge is: Can we display the theme in the way we behave?
So I turn the other cheek in my drama. But, do I turn the other cheek when my teammate snaps at me?
I go the extra mile in my puppet skit. But, do I go that extra mile when I'm asked to do something I've already done or don't want to do?
It's not about how I display the theme in a skit or poem or photo or song. It's how I display the theme in my life- my actions.
Yes, I'm convinced that when God is watching His children participate in LTC, it is not the medal count that he is looking for. It is how His children treat each other.
For those of you who are not familiar with this program, LTC stands for Leadership Training for Christ. It is designed for children in 3rd-12th grades to help them develop their talents for the Lord. They work on individual and team events such as song leading, chorus, drama, speech, scripture reading, signing for the deaf, art, etc. Generally, church-wide practices begin in January and then over Easter weekend, we gather with other congregations for a convention and the students showcase these talents and are awarded a gold, silver, bronze or honorable mention medal based on their adherance to a set of standards. It's not really a competition, but the awards are to motivate the students to do their best. It's difficult to explain the convention to someone who's never been. Because there are so many people going so many directions, the best description I've heard is that it is "organized chaos."
Ok, all that being said, let me continue with my thought. During my eight years of coaching LTC, I have come to realize that much more is learned than just from the events themselves. It's the process. It's the 4 hour practices every Sunday for three months. It's the 36+ hours spent together over Easter weekend. It's the deadlines and demands. It's the feeling like you want to pull your hair out and scream at times, but you don't. Usually.
Patience
For instance, when you get 3000 plus people that need to go up and down six elevators twelve times in a nine hour time period, you learn patience. Hopefully. When 30 people are all waiting and the elevator has room for three, you learn patience. When the elevator doors open up and it is already jam-packed, you learn patience.
Flexibility
When you're waiting for same said elevator and your event starts in ten minutes, then you learn to be flexible. Time for plan B. Take the stairs. (Now, getting into the flow of traffice in the stairwell is an art in itself, but that's another lesson.)
When the signing room is running way late and they move your entire group to another room, you learn to be flexible.
When you discover that your Bible Drama's two small Bibles for your skit are missing, you learn to be flexible. I mean, a piece of blue paper folded in half with the word "BIBLE" written in sharpie looks like a Bible, right? Sure it does!
Forbearance
Forbearance. I wasn't sure that was an actual word, but I looked it up. Yeah, it is. Basically it means putting up with each other. Tolerance. Giving each other a break. Not yelling at the person who bumped into you. Not correcting the monitor who shushed you when you weren't even the one talking.
Not verbally attacking the person who emails you at 11:00pm the night of the convention to ask you to re-send electronic files you submitted weeks ago.
Not killing the kid who breaks the rules. On purpose. Did we say no shorts? Did we say no swimming? Did we say don't go anywhere alone? Yes, yes we did. Yeah, I'd say we learn alot of forbearance at LTC.
No one is Perfect/ I can't do everything
When I take 30 seconds to take care of one child and then make a mad dash to my next child's event, only to get there seconds after they shut the doors, and miss the entire event, I realize that I cannot be a perfect parent. I cannot do everything.
Trying to make it to everyone's events is practically an impossibility. Sorry, Yoda, this is one case where I just have to try- not "do or do not." I try and do some.
Hmmmmm..... No one is perfect? Perhaps remembering that will help me in the forbearance department as well!
First things first
So, there's a yellow sheet of paper that you must submit to the room proctor before you perform. I was really grateful for the monitor who said, "It's just a piece of paper. We'll figure something out," when I wasn't sure that I had ours.
There is a certain time that you must be there in order to not give up your slot. Yes, I get it. There must be order.
However, what really matters? Loving God and loving people. We are there to do that. It's more important that I'm kind to my team than to remember my yellow piece of paper. It's more important that I know God than to memorize every word in the book of Matthew.
It's more important that I am patient and respectful than for me to be on time to my event. It's more important that I'm a good example than for me to make it to every event my child is in. These are lessons not easily learned. At least not for me.
Who's doing the learning?
Well, I was talking about this the other day and someone said, "Sounds like it's the parents that are learning these things."
Yes, that's it exactly. The leadership training that these kids learn has less to do with what I teach them about acting or singing for the Lord. It has everything to do with what they learn when they watch my behavior.
I may give my all to coach them the best way to sing their songs, but if I'm unkind and rude- THAT'S what I'm teaching them.
I may instruct them how to read the word of God in a clear and confident way, but if I'm quick to get angry at the kid whose mom drops him off late, THAT's what I'm teaching them.
How do I treat a child that frequently misses practice? Do I give them a lecture or do I smile and say, "I'm glad you're here!"?
How do I react when I've been waiting for an elevator for what seems like an hour (have I mentioned the elevators?) and then someone walks in front of me and gets the last spot?
How do I respond when I feel the judges results are unfair?
(Don't get me wrong. LTC is a wonderful experience, and for the most part, everyone who has a part in the planning and execution of it is a kind, dedicated Christian. That being said, remember, I've learned that no one is perfect. Judges, coordinators, parents, participants, me included.)
What is my demeanor when 50 people are all trying to eat lunch in one small room with 25 chairs? And it's hot. And I can't breathe.
How do I treat people when I'm going on little sleep, frantically trying to figure out where to be next, making sure we have all our props, supervising who knows how many kids?
That's when I take a deep breath and turn it all over to God. Some of this stuff just doesn't matter. Some of it does.
The leadership training that goes on is our children watching us respond in these situations. Do I respond with frustration and anger? Do I yell and threaten?
Or do I respond with love and a soft answer? Do I remain calm? Do I apologize when I am in the wrong?
Do I remember the big picture? Leadership Training for Christ. Yes, they give us a theme. We come up with all sorts of skits, songs, etc. that embody the theme, but the real challenge is: Can we display the theme in the way we behave?
So I turn the other cheek in my drama. But, do I turn the other cheek when my teammate snaps at me?
I go the extra mile in my puppet skit. But, do I go that extra mile when I'm asked to do something I've already done or don't want to do?
It's not about how I display the theme in a skit or poem or photo or song. It's how I display the theme in my life- my actions.
Yes, I'm convinced that when God is watching His children participate in LTC, it is not the medal count that he is looking for. It is how His children treat each other.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Whole30 Day 8
As I walked out of the teachers' lounge after heating up my Whole30 lunch, I glanced up at the vending machine. Honey buns, chips, cookies, candy bars. All calling out to me. Where have you been, Carol? Why aren't you buying us the way you used to. Sigh.
I've heard that there is no such thing as junk food. There's junk. And there's food. Period. Wow. That really hit me.
This is my second run through the Whole30, but it's still hard. I still crave sweets, and bread, and dairy. Everything I'm supposed to be staying away from during these 30 days.
I feel better. I have more energy. My clothes are looser. I know I'm healthier. Why do I still want the stuff that's bad for me?
Story of my life. Battle of my life. Why do I eat what I eat? The things I know I should eat, those I do not eat. The things I know I shouldn't eat- that's what I eat. Sigh. (Carol's version of Romans 7)
It tastes sooooo good. That's why. Or is it? Am I just used to junk? Hmmmm...
So I was thinking about spiritual junk. How much of that have I put into my body- my soul? Why?
It has such a good story.
It has a really good beat to it.
It's so much fun!
Look at those muscles!
He's so cute!
It has such a good love story in it.
All my friends are watching it, listening to it, reading it, doing it.
Blah, blah, blah. Yeah.
I started filtering junk out of my life years ago. I would ask myself, "Is this bringing me closer to God?" "Will my life be more of what God wants it to be because of this activity?" "Will my life really be so bad without this?"
You may laugh, but I've never seen the movies "Dirty Dancing" or "Footloose" because of this. It may seem silly, but as a teenager, it was a big deal for me. I'm fairly certain that my life isn't less meaningful because of missing out on these. I'm not trying to pick on these two movies. I'm just giving an example.
Have I seen and done things I shouldn't have? Plenty. Ugh. I think it's even harder as an adult. No one checks IDs. No one questions me. It's me and God. It's up to me what spiritual food I eat.
Now I'm trying to train my children to be careful what they put in their souls. When they were little, I controlled everything that went into their brains. Now that they are older, they are making their own choices. Part of that is to see what else is out there. Especially with movies and music.
I had to learn in my own time. God, please give me patience as I wait for them to learn in their own times.
Over the years, the more I got used to spiritually only putting in "the good stuff" I learned to not want the "junk" as much. Not that I've got it all down perfectly, but for the most part now, when I hear or see "junk" I tend to cringe. I just don't like being around it.
Sigh. Now I need to get that way with physical food.
I've heard that there is no such thing as junk food. There's junk. And there's food. Period. Wow. That really hit me.
This is my second run through the Whole30, but it's still hard. I still crave sweets, and bread, and dairy. Everything I'm supposed to be staying away from during these 30 days.
I feel better. I have more energy. My clothes are looser. I know I'm healthier. Why do I still want the stuff that's bad for me?
Story of my life. Battle of my life. Why do I eat what I eat? The things I know I should eat, those I do not eat. The things I know I shouldn't eat- that's what I eat. Sigh. (Carol's version of Romans 7)
It tastes sooooo good. That's why. Or is it? Am I just used to junk? Hmmmm...
So I was thinking about spiritual junk. How much of that have I put into my body- my soul? Why?
It has such a good story.
It has a really good beat to it.
It's so much fun!
Look at those muscles!
He's so cute!
It has such a good love story in it.
All my friends are watching it, listening to it, reading it, doing it.
Blah, blah, blah. Yeah.
I started filtering junk out of my life years ago. I would ask myself, "Is this bringing me closer to God?" "Will my life be more of what God wants it to be because of this activity?" "Will my life really be so bad without this?"
You may laugh, but I've never seen the movies "Dirty Dancing" or "Footloose" because of this. It may seem silly, but as a teenager, it was a big deal for me. I'm fairly certain that my life isn't less meaningful because of missing out on these. I'm not trying to pick on these two movies. I'm just giving an example.
Have I seen and done things I shouldn't have? Plenty. Ugh. I think it's even harder as an adult. No one checks IDs. No one questions me. It's me and God. It's up to me what spiritual food I eat.
Now I'm trying to train my children to be careful what they put in their souls. When they were little, I controlled everything that went into their brains. Now that they are older, they are making their own choices. Part of that is to see what else is out there. Especially with movies and music.
I had to learn in my own time. God, please give me patience as I wait for them to learn in their own times.
Over the years, the more I got used to spiritually only putting in "the good stuff" I learned to not want the "junk" as much. Not that I've got it all down perfectly, but for the most part now, when I hear or see "junk" I tend to cringe. I just don't like being around it.
Sigh. Now I need to get that way with physical food.
Monday, April 1, 2013
God's Love For Me (and You!)
Many times, when talking about God sending Jesus to earth to die on the cross for us, people make such comments as "I love you and all, but I'd never give up my son for you" or "I can't even imagine the pain of giving up my son" and the like. We hear how unimaginable it seems to give away something so precious for the world. A world that didn't even seem to care.
Well, when I think about Jesus dying on the cross for me, I think about it a bit differently. Let me explain. Stay with me.
Pretty much any parent I know would not hesitate to jump in front of a bullet for their child. And most people that I know, if not a parent, have a niece or nephew or younger sister or brother or other loved one in their lives that they would gladly jump into a volcano for if it meant saving them. A love like that doesn't even really have to think. It's a sacrifice that is gladly made. To save the one they love. Because that love is so deep and sure.
And that love was not earned. It just is. And that love may not even be appreciated. It is still given. Sometimes that love may not even be acknowledged. Still, it flows.
Well, that's how I look at Jesus dying for me. I see God as the Trinity (Father/Spirit/Son) and when it became obvious that we were going to need saving (that happened pretty soon after the creation of man), well, that love was so deep and sure that of course He would do anything for us. In a heart beat. Whatever we need. Gladly.
I would gladly jump into a pot of boiling oil to save one of my sons. It doesn't matter if he's mad at me. It doesn't matter if he even cares that I love him. It doesn't matter if he deserves to be saved or not- or wants to be saved or not. I love him. He's mine. Period.
I think most people feel that way about someone. At least I hope they do.
That's unconditional love. So, think about that love that you have for that certain someone. A child. A friend. A spouse. Think about that love that you have that would make you freely jump in front of a train to save them.
Then multiply that love a million times over and maybe we begin to see how God feels about us.
I mean, I don't even feel like I can compare human love to God's love, but that's all I have to compare it to, I guess. I mean, to think that God loves me (and you) so terribly much that He gladly dies in our place. Even if we rejected him. Even if we hated him. Even if we were the ones who killed him. Even if we didn't even know him.
And that human love I was talking about. It's not because of anything that person did. It's because of who that person is. Period. Same with God. We are each of us, individually, his child. Loved, not because of anything we've done, but simply because of who we are- His creation. We belong to Him. We're His.
And you know that movie/story where the man sacrifices his own son to save a train full of unaware passengers? Well, it's a nice movie/story and all, but God didn't send his son to die for a world full of unnamed faces. Jesus didn't die for a group of people He didn't know. Jesus died for individuals. Each one named, known, important, chosen. His. That's us!
I don't know about you, but that makes me feel pretty loved. Pretty unconditionally loved. Now, the response is up to me.
So, I will think about all that Jesus went through leading to the cross of Calvary. Pain, rejection, ridicule, beatings. But, more than that, I will think about the love that He had. So much love that He had for me. Has for me. Before I even knew Him, He already knew and loved me. And now knows and loves me.
And you know, if I were to take a bullet for a child of mine, I think that my last thought would be something like, "Whew, he's safe!"
It brings a smile to my face to think that perhaps as Jesus said, "It is finished," that maybe he felt a sense of relief, "Whew, they're safe." And I am. I hope you are, too.
He was on the cross for me. For you. Because he just loves us that much.
Well, when I think about Jesus dying on the cross for me, I think about it a bit differently. Let me explain. Stay with me.
Pretty much any parent I know would not hesitate to jump in front of a bullet for their child. And most people that I know, if not a parent, have a niece or nephew or younger sister or brother or other loved one in their lives that they would gladly jump into a volcano for if it meant saving them. A love like that doesn't even really have to think. It's a sacrifice that is gladly made. To save the one they love. Because that love is so deep and sure.
And that love was not earned. It just is. And that love may not even be appreciated. It is still given. Sometimes that love may not even be acknowledged. Still, it flows.
Well, that's how I look at Jesus dying for me. I see God as the Trinity (Father/Spirit/Son) and when it became obvious that we were going to need saving (that happened pretty soon after the creation of man), well, that love was so deep and sure that of course He would do anything for us. In a heart beat. Whatever we need. Gladly.
I would gladly jump into a pot of boiling oil to save one of my sons. It doesn't matter if he's mad at me. It doesn't matter if he even cares that I love him. It doesn't matter if he deserves to be saved or not- or wants to be saved or not. I love him. He's mine. Period.
I think most people feel that way about someone. At least I hope they do.
That's unconditional love. So, think about that love that you have for that certain someone. A child. A friend. A spouse. Think about that love that you have that would make you freely jump in front of a train to save them.
Then multiply that love a million times over and maybe we begin to see how God feels about us.
I mean, I don't even feel like I can compare human love to God's love, but that's all I have to compare it to, I guess. I mean, to think that God loves me (and you) so terribly much that He gladly dies in our place. Even if we rejected him. Even if we hated him. Even if we were the ones who killed him. Even if we didn't even know him.
And that human love I was talking about. It's not because of anything that person did. It's because of who that person is. Period. Same with God. We are each of us, individually, his child. Loved, not because of anything we've done, but simply because of who we are- His creation. We belong to Him. We're His.
And you know that movie/story where the man sacrifices his own son to save a train full of unaware passengers? Well, it's a nice movie/story and all, but God didn't send his son to die for a world full of unnamed faces. Jesus didn't die for a group of people He didn't know. Jesus died for individuals. Each one named, known, important, chosen. His. That's us!
I don't know about you, but that makes me feel pretty loved. Pretty unconditionally loved. Now, the response is up to me.
So, I will think about all that Jesus went through leading to the cross of Calvary. Pain, rejection, ridicule, beatings. But, more than that, I will think about the love that He had. So much love that He had for me. Has for me. Before I even knew Him, He already knew and loved me. And now knows and loves me.
And you know, if I were to take a bullet for a child of mine, I think that my last thought would be something like, "Whew, he's safe!"
It brings a smile to my face to think that perhaps as Jesus said, "It is finished," that maybe he felt a sense of relief, "Whew, they're safe." And I am. I hope you are, too.
He was on the cross for me. For you. Because he just loves us that much.
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