What He Didn't Say

We are studying the parable of the prodigal son on Sunday mornings. Yes, I've studied it a million times, but this one is especially eye-opening.

I have had some ah-ha moments because of this class. Most of them have been because of the father in the parable. I'm not sure that I ever paid that much attention to the father's actions. How he behaves, what he says. And, I think I've really learned the most by taking note of the things that he DIDN'T say.

For instance, to the younger son leaving, he never says:

No, please don't. You'll break my heart!

What can I do to get you to stay? I'll do anything!

This will ruin our family's reputation!

How can you be so stupid?

I knew you'd leave! You always disappoint me.

You'll be sorry. One day, you'll come crawling back- you'll see.

You'll never make it. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Gulp! Have I ever said anything like this to someone who was making a poor choice? Wow.

Nope. No begging, bargaining, or demeaning. No, the father respected his son enough to let him make his own choices. Also, by not saying some of the above mentioned words, he left the door open for the son to return.

And then, when the younger son does return, you also DO NOT hear the father say:

I knew you'd be back. I knew you'd never make it on your own.

What were you thinking?

I hope you've learned your lesson.

Just make sure you don't mess up again.

Or perhaps the worst..... I told you so!

No, he opens his arms and accepts him. He puts a ring on his finger and throws a big party for him!. Now, I do not think that this means that he will accept unacceptable behavior. No, I think that the son knows what is expected of him. He wouldn't be back if he wasn't willing to live up to that. I think that's probably part of why he had to leave the father in the first place.

Is this the way I react when someone repents and comes back to the Lord? When someone tells me they are sorry for wronging me? When someone tries to change their life?

And then there's the older son. After the younger son comes back, he starts to gripe and complain. What does the father say to him? Again, I can tell you what he DOESN'T say.

What's the matter with you? This is your brother!

Why would you embarrass me like this?

You are just spoiled, that's all!

I don't care what you want- get into that party!

You only THINK you're the good son!

No, he calmly assures the older son of his love for him and his place in the family. He doesn't pit one brother against another. He doesn't even scold. Everything he says is helpful. Everything he says creates unity.

One of my favorite sayings is, "It is better to be kind than right." It seems like the father knew this, and practiced it.

Now it's time for me to go and do likewise.